Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Great Tips for Great Writing

You've probably seen this before, but if not --

Some helpful rules for better writing:
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
11. No sentence fragments.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be ignored.
19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

from http://www.basicjokes.com/djoke.php?id=3065 (accessed July 14, 2009)


  1. Thanks for posting this, Natalie! Good to remember all the craft tips that I now need to go back and revise OUT of my novel. Just kidding.

  2. Excellent advice.

    Thanks for sharing, it made me lol, out loud, though being English, and knowing nowt about American Football, I didn't get the hyperbowl reference :)

  3. I snorted Peanut Butter Captain Crunch out of my nose when I read this, I was laughing so hard.